Why people have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since ancient times. Extramarital affairs can be filled with problems, cause sadness, and other troubles. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, funds, age difference, spiritual education, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married woman date.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking affairs. I suppose mainly though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, generally the male is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is vanished, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.